Silent As Stone
by Moonchild10
Summary: A memorial for Terra, for Terra haters and fans alike. A collection of one-shot and poetic tributes to the fallen Titan, portraying her as a hero, as a villian, and as a friend.
1. Alone

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

_You are now reading the first of a collection of one-shots and poems dedicated to Terra. It doesn't matter if you like her or hate her, both opinions will be honored here. This is just my way of remembering the most controversial character ever to come onto Teen Titans, besides maybe Slade. _

_This first thing here is a rather angsty poem from Beast Boy's point of view. I hope you enjoy this and the rest of the pieces that will end up here. _

**XXX**

Why do I feel the way I do?

Empty as a shell?

I gave you all I had in life

You gave me only hell

I sit here locked inside my room

And locked inside my head

Everything is spinning faster

All the things that end up dead

Screaming out my lungs

But no one ever hears

I sit here trapped inside myself

Bound by all my fears

Why can't you just hear me?

How much clearer must this be?

How long will it take to let me in

And just let me be free?

Trapped alone here in my room

Ripping off my head

Encased by all this silence

That rots inside instead

My screams make no impression

On your cold and lifeless face

Can't you see that I'm afraid?

Get me out of this choking space

Broken down, torn up inside

As these wounds begin to pour

I feel so alone, I feel so lost

I don't want to feel anymore

Tie me up, beat me down

Send me screaming to the ground

Anything to make me sure

That I'm still alive

So beaten up, so raw inside

You see all the things that I hide

Am I just emotionless to you?

This is my pain showing through

I'm left here crying where I fall

And you leave me empty like a rag doll

Cries break the dawn of an endless night

Through the darkness and lies with a crimson light

Alone and afraid I wait for the end

Where is my salvation

Where is a friend?


	2. Mistake

_Disclaimer: Blar. _

_This is a little one-shot delving deep into Raven's mind on the subject of Terra. It takes place directly after Betrayal. A very anti-Terra piece, originally written several months ago right after I watched Aftershock pt. 1. Beware hostility. Hee._

_Be forewarned that I'm not totally against Terra, so not all the pieces will be anti-Terra. Wee. I'm having a good day. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I can't believe we ever trusted her. I still don't know what possessed us. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed like someone you could really be friends with for a few weeks there. Yeah, even I admit to being sucked into her bullshit for a while. But at the beginning I could see through it. I could see she couldn't be trusted. But I bought in to all her lies eventually, just like everyone else.

That little whore.

She made me believe she could be trusted, after I had sworn never to trust her. She made me go against my own better judgment, make stupid decisions, allow myself to let her in. I should have left my guard up. But after she helped resurface the tower, I really started to believe maybe I could get along with her. So I tried, and I ended up trusting her for a while, no matter how much I denied it. I denied it like hell, but it wouldn't work. Because the fact was, we all trusted her to a certain extent.

Is it always the people you trust that do these things to you? Why do people do that? And why did I allow myself to trust _anyone_? It almost makes me wonder if anyone can be trusted, which makes me feel horrible, because I can trust the team, can't I? They're my friends.

But so was Terra. Sort of.

So maybe the team can't even be trusted. Maybe I'm only setting myself up for another one of these experiences by trusting them so completely. Because I do trust them. All of them. Yes, even Beast Boy.

I'm being ridiculous. Of course I can trust them. I don't remember ever questioning my trust for them before. Damn you Terra, damn you. This is all your fault. Or my fault, for trusting you. I'm never going to let myself forget how unwise I was allowing that trust to happen. I've gotten so accustomed to being sure about the team. I don't think I've ever doubted them before. So why am I now? Because of one little experience. I need to calm down. I'm blowing this out of proportion.

But maybe I'm not. Every member of the Teen Titans is somewhat human. Humans make mistakes. Even the most honorable, trustworthy person you know, the person you trust more than anyone you've ever known, will inevitably betray you if put in just the right situation. It's just a matter of weakness. Once a person's weakness is discovered, anyone who knows it is in control. Slade is in control of Terra. It must have been simple. Terra has so many weaknesses, and some of them are obvious.

Control. That's what every human wants. Control over something or other. That was what Terra wanted, and look where it got her. Now she's betrayed the only friends she's ever going to have and is serving a dark master, because she wanted to control her powers so badly. Maybe, though, that wasn't all she wanted. Maybe control wasn't the only reason she decided to work for Slade behind our backs. Maybe she felt alone. Maybe she felt afraid. I don't know. I will never know. I'll never allow her that close to me again.

Sometimes I wonder if there really was something wrong with Terra. How else could she be that cold? Beast Boy liked her. It was obvious. And yet she allowed herself to lead him on, let him believe she really cared for him. And then she broke his heart. One of the things that makes me more angry than anything in the world is when someone hurts my friends. I've seen them get wounded countless times in battle, but the emotional pain that she caused Beast Boy was worse than all of the pain the rest of us have ever felt physically, even combined. I care for my friends. I feel horrible for doubting them before. But maybe it wasn't really them I doubted.

Maybe it was myself.

There's a lot to doubt. These emotions of mine are powerful, even deadly. It took so much strength to keep myself from making things blow up over what Terra did. I will never understand the way her mind works, nor do I care to. I never want to get that far inside the mind of a monster. That's what she was. A monster. A horrible, hideous demon concealed behind the smiling face of someone who we truly believed was our friend. That's the price we pay for allowing ourselves to trust others. And thanks to Terra, because of that one mistake, the five of us, the Teen Titans, the most powerful superheroes in Jump City, will keep paying that price for the rest of our lives. All because of one little mistake. A mistake named Terra.

**XXX**


	3. Control

_Disclaimer: Blarg! _

_This is a poem called 'Control' ,from Terra's POV, just her feeling guilty for what she's going to do very soon. More angst. Probably takes place shortly before 'Betrayal'. I saw that episode (for the millionth time) this weekend. The end always makes me cry. Poor BB. _

_This poem also sounds a bit like one about self-destruction. Hmm. Terra, is there something you're not telling us? (j/k) _

**XXX**

The more I fight the pain  
The more it builds inside  
The more I need to tell you  
The more I try to hide

Just a little farther  
Just a moment to hold on  
Just a little piece of nothing  
Remember me when I'm gone

You watch me make the same mistakes  
Unaware as I fight this hell  
But you don't know the pain I hide  
Inside my fragile shell

For every drop of blood  
I build upon my sin  
Someday soon I'm getting out  
When will the end begin?

For every tear I shed  
I start to fade away  
For every moment that I waste  
I can't find the words to say

For every feeling I suppress  
I slip further in  
I don't know if I can fight this  
Let the pain begin

For every friendship broken  
Inside I burn a hole  
I can't go on fighting this  
**Don't let me lose control!**


	4. Let Me Be

_Disclaimer: Bah! _

_This is another poem, one from Terra's POV. She is restored from her rocky state, but with the worry of hurting the Titans again, she know she must move on and leave her old life behind. _

_**XXX**_

Let me be alone

No one here to see my fears

No one there to sum me up

No one to laugh at my tears

Let me be alone

Safe from prying eyes

Safe from all the judging stares

Safe from all their lies

I'm so tired of being judged

I'm so tired of being such a show

I'm tired of all the things they say

I'm so tired saying things they should know

I want to know for a moment that I'm real

That I'm not just fabricating everything I feel

Please don't turn out the light

Please just tell me I'll be alright

I don't want to die alone

I don't want to feel the pain

I don't want to be like a stone

I don't want to bear this stain

Take me away from all I've become

Let me cease to be me

I don't want to be myself

I don't even want to bleed

Help me break away

From all that I have wronged

I know that I cannot be saved

I know I can't belong

Let me be emotionless

Let me be a stone

Let me be the lonely one;

Let me be alone

Just give me a moment

Before I walk away

Let me say I'm sorry

Let me say all the things I need to say

I know you think I never loved you

You think I never cared

But you were my dearest friends

I wish I could have been there

As I slip into the distance

You don't know that I'm even here

But your memory is enough to strengthen me

And keep me safe from my fear

As I walk away from the life I've lived

I can't be what you need me to be

But as I leave this life behind

You'll always be with me


End file.
